Memorario100 questions to ask grandma
Your grandma carries stories nobody else can tell: the house she grew up in, how she met Grandpa, the song she hummed while she cooked. Often she just hasn't told them because no one thought to ask. Here are 100 simple, kind questions to ask grandma, so you can start that conversation slowly, one question at a time.
They work just as well for your grandpa, your mom or your dad.
Childhood
What smell takes you straight back to your childhood home?
What was the house you grew up in like? Did you have a favorite spot to hide or daydream?
What games did you play outside with the neighborhood kids?
What is your very first memory?
What did you love to eat as a kid that you still think about?
Who was your best friend growing up, and what did you two get up to?
What was school like? Is there a teacher you still remember fondly?
What's a bit of mischief you got into that still makes you laugh?
What did you want to be when you grew up?
What were you afraid of as a child, and who made you feel safe?
Youth
What were you like at 15? What mattered to you back then?
What did you and your friends do on weekends?
How did you celebrate your fifteenth birthday or your graduation?
What music did you dance to, and where did you go dancing?
What clothes or hairstyles were in fashion, and what did you wear?
When was the first time you felt grown up?
What did your parents not let you do that you still remember?
Did you keep studying? What would you have liked to study?
What was your biggest dream at 20?
What youthful adventure have you never told anyone about?
Family
What were your parents like? What do you remember most about each of them?
What did your grandparents tell you about their lives?
How many brothers and sisters did you have, and what were you like together?
As far as you know, where does our family come from? Did anyone come from far away?
What's something your mother always used to say?
Was there an aunt, uncle or family friend who was special to you?
What were big family get-togethers like at your house?
Which family tradition do you hope we keep going?
What makes you proudest about our family?
What's the family story that always gets told at the holidays?
Love
How did you meet Grandpa (or the great love of your life)?
What was the first thing you noticed about him?
What was a typical date like back then?
How did the proposal happen?
What do you remember about your wedding day: the outfits, the food, the music?
Did you two have "your song"?
Did you ever write each other letters? Do you still have any?
What did your parents think when you first brought him home?
What have you learned about loving someone for a long time?
Children
How did you find out you were going to be a mom, and how did you feel?
What was the day each of your children was born like?
How did you choose your children's names?
What song or story did you sing or tell them at bedtime?
What was my mom (or dad) like as a little kid?
What mischief from your kids still makes you laugh?
What was the hardest moment of raising them, and how did you get through it?
What did your children teach you?
What tradition did you invent for your family?
What surprised you most about being a mom?
What moment with your children made you proudest?
What would you like to say to each of your children?
Work
What was your very first job, and how did you get it?
What chores did you have growing up?
What work are you proudest of, paid or unpaid?
What did an ordinary workday look like for you?
Who taught you the things you're best at?
Which coworkers do you remember fondly?
What can you make or fix with your hands (sewing, knitting, baking, gardening) that you'd like to teach me?
How did you manage work and raising a family at the same time?
What did people make at home back then that we just buy today?
What were you so good at that people came to you for help?
Places: homes, hometowns and travel
What town or city were you born in? What was Main Street like?
How many homes have you lived in? Which one felt most like home?
What was the neighborhood like where you raised your kids?
Was there a corner store, diner or bakery you went to all the time?
What was your first big trip? How did you get there: car, train, bus?
Did you ever move to a new city or country? What did you miss most?
Do you remember the first time you saw the ocean, the mountains or a big city?
How has your hometown changed since you were young?
If you could take me on a walk through your younger years, where would we go first?
Hard times (optional)
Only if she wants to share. These questions are about strength and the people who helped, not about reliving pain. Skipping them is completely fine.
Was there a hard season in your life you'd like to tell me about, if you feel like it?
Who helped you when things got tough?
What kept you going on the heaviest days?
How did neighbors look out for each other when someone needed help?
Was there a time your family had to make do with very little? What clever ways did you find?
What did you learn about yourself during a difficult time?
Do you remember a kindness from a stranger that you never forgot?
Was there a big storm, a hard winter or a tough year your family got through together? If you'd like, tell me how you pulled through.
Is there someone you miss that you'd like me to know something lovely about?
Was there a prayer, song or saying that carried you through hard moments?
Traditions and recipes
Which family recipe would you like me to learn? Will you walk me through it?
What did Thanksgiving or the holidays look like at your house growing up?
Who did the cooking for big family meals, and what was everyone's job?
Who taught you to cook, and what was the first thing you learned to make?
What was a typical Sunday dinner?
What's the secret to the dish everyone always asks you to make?
How did your family celebrate birthdays and Mother's Day?
What cookies, pies or cakes did you bake for special occasions? Will you teach me one?
Do you have a recipe box or handwritten recipe cards? Whose handwriting is on them?
Is there something in your house with a story we should all know?
Advice and life lessons
What's the best advice you've ever been given?
What do you hope your grandchildren always remember?
What simple things make you happy these days?
What would you tell the little girl you used to be?
What does being a good person mean to you?
What matters less than people think when they're young?
What's the secret to keeping a family close?
What's something about you I may never have thought to ask?
What gives you hope when you think about our family's future?
Is there anything you'd like to tell me today, without me asking?
How to use them
- At her own pace, one at a time. There's no need to ask them all at once, or in one day. One question at a time, without hurry, gives her room to think and remember.
- However she likes to answer. Typing, speaking into the phone, or telling you in person while you write it down. An old photo next to an answer is priceless.
- Keep the answers in one place. A notebook, a document or Memorario: what matters is that nothing gets lost. Over time, it becomes a family treasure.
Memorario: let her answer them herself, and get her book
Memorario is a phone app. You set it up for your grandma, and she answers these questions one by one, at her own pace, typing or talking, with photos if she likes. Everything stays on that one phone. Whenever you want, download her answers as a printable PDF book.
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